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Teenage Mutant Ninja Tantrums

Updated: Jun 17, 2023

Prince's Journey Through Puberty And Adolescence

When It All Started

When Prince started puberty is something I guess I'll never know. While I have read that, for dogs, the hormonal changes that occur during puberty begin at any age at between 7 and 10 months, I think that as in humans, there is likely to be great variability, dependent on numerous genetic and environmental factors.

Prince was somewhat of a late bloomer - while he began exhibiting rebellious teenage impulses at around a year of age, he had failed to manifest any typically male behaviours - that is, at least, until the Suprelorin chip. I'll explain all about the Suprelorin chip later in this article, but first I want to talk about the behaviour that preceded it, which led me to opt for the treatment.

The "Let's Fuck Shit Up!" Phase

Up until he was around a year old, Prince was okay with being left alone. Sometimes he would very quietly cry and pace the floor but usually he would either play with his toys or take naps. From the age of about a year, however, he began exhibiting progressively more destructive behaviours when I wasn't home.

In addition to this, when we were out on walks, he was rebellious when off leash - refusing to come when called, and generally being the sort of obnoxious little brat that you'd just love to slap across the face.

For example, he would harass other dogs to try and force them to play with him, by barking loudly at them and nipping their legs. From the outside, it seemed that he thought that they were obliged to serve as his entertainment.

At home when I was with him, he remained very sweet and loving but these other problems persisted and by the time he was 14 months old, I was at my wit's end. Frankly, by this point, I really did not like him.

Prince has always been the sort of dog that voices his discontent or protests when he does not feel he is getting a fair deal - like when, at the age of 4 months, he peed on my bed because he was jealous that I was giving my attention to a friend during a call, rather than playing with him, or when he peed in his crate because Yoto was being given treats as he was getting his hair cut while he was getting none.

In my opinion, the vandalism was not a frantic but benign act - it was rooted in aggression, with the intention to force me to stay at home with him.

Fear Impulse Or Calculated Move?

There are many dog trainers that would vehemently disagree that a dog is capable of such calculations. This is not what I have observed. The same way that a teenager would gradually test the boundaries of what they could get away with, when rebelling against something they do not like, Prince started small before going big.

First, it was shredding a napkin that had been left on the coffee table. Then, he upgraded to shopping bags. Later, an old piece of clothing, until eventually he went all-in and destroyed the sofa, the bed and the crate base when home alone for half the time he could be left for without causing damage previously.

Dogs are capable of a whole range of emotions that humans also exhibit, which may lead them to manifest this kind of behaviour - jealousy, anger and, as is so often the case with Prince, righteous indignation.

Given his other unpleasant teenage behaviours, it occurred to me that the violent and destructive impulses could be in part due to pubescent hormone levels and I went to my vet to discuss the issue and available options. I was hesitant to opt for what would be, in my eyes, a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but I had reached my limit and I was overwhelmed by the prospect of what could be a very long and slow training process to address to this pressing issues. That's when I learned of the Suprelorin chip.

What Is The Suprelorin Chip?

The Suprelorin chip is a medical implant that is inserted below the dermis, containing Deslorelin - a gonadotropin releasing hormone superagonist, which acts as a form of chemical castration.

Suprelorin comes in two doses - 4.7mg, which is supposed to last for around 6 months and 9.4mg, which is supposed to last for 12 months. However, I was told by my vet that the 9.4mg chip doesn't actually last much longer than the 4.7mg dose, and the duration of its efficacy is highly variable - in some cats and small dogs, there have been cases of the chemical castration lasting for up to 2 years.

The way that the Suprelorin chip works is that is shuts of testosterone production in the testicles. This initially, however, causes a spike in circulating testosterone, as the brain overcompensates for the sudden change. This results in an increase in typical male behaviour for around 6 weeks, before testosterone levels are reduced. For Prince, this initial surge in testosterone is what caused him to begin exhibiting some male behaviours - at first just cocking his leg to pee.

Prince had the 4.7mg Suprelorin chip. It was implanted in January 2021, and he didn't start showing additional male behaviours, such as marking, until sometime around December of the same year, so I think it's possible that the chip may have been effective until around 11 months after it was implanted.

Behavioural Effects Of The Suprelorin Chip

Perhaps one of the most immediate effects of the Suprelorin chip was that Prince was a lot easier to handle - he was calmer, he wasn't, to put it bluntly, such an annoying little prick when playing with other dogs, and the destructive behaviour ceased to be a problem, except for one incident 9 months after the chip had been implanted.

While the dog trainer that I was working with disapproved, the fact is that most people disapprove of neutering in Germany, which may be why it costs 4 times more than it does in the UK or US - a fact which no doubt contributes to the abundance of four-legged cunts walking Berlin's streets.

The Suprelorin chip made Prince easier to train during the most difficult phase of his development, and since it has worn off, he has remained calm, affectionate and obedient. The only unwanted behaviour that he has recently started to exhibit is humping - for the last 2 months, he has been humping female friends as soon as he has finished greeting them - I suppose it's nice that he at least says hello before proceeding to the unwanted sexual advances.


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