Since Stonewall, the LGBT movement has come a long way. We have achieved legal equality to an extent that many people 60 years ago may never have believed possible. But now we are seeing a backlash and queer communities in parts of America and Europe are seeing the removal of their rights, for example with Florida's "don't say gay" law.
At a time like this, perhaps instead of simply attacking those who are demanding that we go back in the closet, we would be better served by seriously evaluating the issues we're fighting for so that we can figure out how best to proceed. If we continue down the current path, it may be a matter of time before they're rounding us up into ghettos to "protect the children". Fascism is on the rise and they are using our cause as recruitment fodder.
My personal view is somewhat controversial. As a non-binary gay man, I believe that the LGBT movement has gotten carried away with very privileged, luxury, first-world issues that are simply too divisive and too progressive to be offloading onto the average person. I think that by trying to force people to agree with us, we are pushing many people further right. Case in point: for millennia, gay men have been non-binary and gender fluid. Only when we ran out of real dragons to slay did we think up the concept of forcing all of society to validate our gender identities. This may be a controversial statement so I'll qualify with my personal experience.
From the age of 3 years old until I was around 23, I experienced a traumatic degree of gender dysphoria. I have never felt such pain as the feeling of being trapped in the wrong body. But, on my path of spiritual and emotional growth, I grew to appreciate aspects of my male beauty to the point where I no longer felt discomfort with being masculine. Internally, I am still more connected to my female energy but I no longer feel a pressing desire to transition.
By all rights, I could ask/demand that people validate my gender identity issues by referring to me as they/them. But I didn't grow up identifying as they/them. In fact, no one of my generation did - the concept only made it into the mainstream in western society in recent years.
Here is another statement that will cause controversy: I get that amongst the "in" crowd, it feels really great to be able to somehow claim to be a persecuted minority but how much of that persecution is legitimate and how much is because you're demanding that people with differing opinions to you provide you with validation? I think the community would be better served if people worked through their emotional issues to find internal self acceptance so that they lose the requirement for and sense of entitlement to external validation.
Not everyone is going to accept you. This statement is applicable to every person on the planet. Why is it that we on the left have so much trouble processing this fact? What happened to the saying "different folks different strokes" or "it takes all sorts to make a world"? When did we stop respecting differing opinions and start demanding that people agree with us? The rhetoric on both the left and the right is getting more extreme, in part as a consequence of the fears that arise when we try to force change in one another.
I think as a community, we've become way too focused on policing speech and insisting that people embrace our gender identity issues by using the correct pronouns. We need to be more accepting of the fact that a lot of people maybe have bigger shit to worry about than remembering that you're plural and that should be okay. We also need to accept that not everyone is going to want to indulge your need for validation because a lot of people from different walks of life have differing opinions and that too is okay.
However, pronoun policing is not the only luxury demand adopted by the left that is being used as fodder for the alt right. There is also the hotly debated issue over whether or not trans women should be allowed to compete against biological women in sports. On this issue, I agree - with certain caveats. I think that trans women should be allowed to compete against biological women - they absolutely should, provided that the biological women are permitted to take steroids. However, if we're not willing to change the rules to allow doping in order to level the playing field, then trans women should have their own category.
The reason for this is not segregation or discrimination, it's the simple fact of the physiological advantage that trans women have over biological women. Their physiological advantage means that trans women athletes will win in their events every time. It does not mean that trans women are not women. It is simply a matter of fairness and good sportsmanship.
There shouldn't even be a debate about this. Nevertheless, it has been sucking up oxygen for a while now. . It is, hands down, quite clear what should happen. So trans women don't get the validation of their existence as women by being placed alongside biological women in sporting events? So what! Most people don't get to achieve their dreams. We need to drop it and move on! This is a first-world, luxury issue that affects a very small fraction of the trans community, while simultaneously being very divisive and providing fodder for far right trolls.
If we are to retain our civil rights, the moderates amongst us need to wrestle the microphone from the vocal minority so that we are able to advocate without jeopardising the progress that we have made in the last 5 decades. We also need to start respecting those who have extreme views on both the left and the right so that we can engage with them in calm, rational debate. This is the only way we will succeed in drawing people back into the centre. Cancel culture doesn't help anyone - it only serves to alienate people.
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